"We are prone to judge success by the index of our salaries or the size of our automobiles, rather than by the quality of our service relationship to humanity." - Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Jitihada haishindi kudura

Another cool, sunny morning.  I slept well - couldn't keep my eyes open much past ten pm.  Before bed, some other volunteers who've been here for seven or more weeks and I chatted - about the inevitable frustration we've all experienced, about comical "mzungu" moments, about life in general.  We talked about the inevitable frustration of cultural assimilation and of the true meaning and impact of this exposure, to all parties concerned.  It was nice to learn that my feelings have been echoed by many and that it passes, to an extent.  The multi-faceted issues of volunteering in a new culture, especially one for which the concept of volunteering is both foreign and misunderstood, make feeling useful somewhat elusive.  At the same time, I must understand that, for a people used to tradition and focused mainly on day-to-day survival, seeing foreigners who already, by their very presence are wealthy beyond comprehension, walk around working for free is cause for consternation.

As always seems to be the case, a message of inspiration and rejuvenated sense of purpose came to me this morning, when it was most needed and from a most surprising source.  Saif, an older, quiet sage of a teacher at Mwsama who seemed rather annoyed with me yesterday, approached me and greeted me.  After talking about our families and his children, he is 52 with three grown children and a few grandchildren, he asked about my family and hopes for my own future.  Then, he asked to borrow my notebook and pen.  He squinted his eyes in concentration as he wrote, very carefully.  When finished, he placed the notebook back into my lap and said, "Swahili wise saying."

Jitihada haishindi kudura.

He helped me pronounce the words and encouraged me to repeat them until my pronunciation was satisfactory.  Under the swahili words was the translation:

"Whatever the efforts you are doing - God's ability is the last."

He smiled as he repeated the meaning in english, again and again.

"You see, you try as much as you can.  Then, you must let go. Hakuna matata."

He grabbed my hand.  I looked into his eyes with my own, now somewhat watery.

"Asante sana. I needed that."

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